The Halcyonite

By Maria G

’24

It was 3 years ago, I came home from school. Not a soul at home, so empty, dark and restless, rather hard. Outside the window it was drizzling with light rain, yellow leaves were falling from trees, it was damp everywhere, all people  were immersed in their phones, unable to even smile. There was a feeling that the whole world felt the same as me. Complete devastation, apathy to everything that was happening and most importantly, something had changed, then I still didn’t understand that. I was 12, a small child who started to struggle with problems too yearly. That day while I was at school, my dad collected all his things and just left, he left  me, my mom, my brother, he just left all of us, yes, we didn’t have a perfect family, but it was a family, it was always a family or at least it seemed to me so then. After all, as Lee Atwater said: “Perception is reality”. Later it turned out that my dad had a parallel family, and I have a step-brother, who at the time of my parents’ divorce turned 6. Of course, no one knew about anything, neither me nor my mother, only my elder brother, who at the age of 12 caught father cheating and lived with this pain in his heart for next 6 years, so as not to destroy our family. I had no one by my side, the only thing that kept my mom alive was us, her kids. And we couldn’t discuss our emotions and dismays with our best friend, our mom. We could only express support and care. 

Three years since that moment have passed, I have mentally grown a lot. But I still have so many issues. Now our whole family, including my dad, is engaged with a psychologist , yes we don’t live all together as before, but my parents communicate calmly, they remain friends, even after my father’s terrible betrayal. 

Many people perceive psychologists as people to whom you pass a session and just talk about your problems. Most people don’t like to share their problems with others, especially British people who are always energetic and cheerful, according to my observations. They guess that they can solve their problems themselves. BUT IT’S NOT TRUE. Even if you think that you have overcome your problems, they will definitely come around in the future. For example, now my brother can’t start new relationships because he doesn’t believe in love and doesn’t trust people after our family’s situation. It’s all because he still has a childhood injury that he didn’t work on in time. My mom still doesn’t speak with her mom, because they struggled very often in my mom’s childhood. 

Psychologists from the University of California (USA) have found out: a conversation with a friend, putting feelings and emotions into words can alleviate our condition.  During the experiment, participants looked at photos of people with expressions of anger or fear on their faces.  At the same moment, the scanner recorded the natural activity of the brain area that “triggers” negative emotions.  When participants talked about their feelings, the activity of another part of the brain increased sharply, and the fear and anger disappeared. Interesting  fact, isn’t it? 

If you think that your problem is not important. IT’S A LIE. Every psychologist has his own approach and if you didn’t like the manners or method of help from one psychologist, that doesn’t mean that all psychologists are like that. 

Don’t forget about your problems, work through your experiences and dismay, ask for help. And remember that you are the one, you play an important role in the lives of many people. Don’t destroy yourself from the inside. You’re important.

Rationale

This is one of the very first, but already successful performances of a young, talented psychologist, who has already attracted hundreds of listeners of completely different ages. At her performance, the girl made a speech in which she shared her story of struggling with their own problems alone and urged her listeners not to be afraid of asking for help and share their experiences with the world, she talked about the consequences of not working out your experiences in time, what  they would not be petty in your opinion. The main purpose of her speech was to show other people that their problems are really needed, she also wanted to share her story with someone and help her audience not to make the mistakes that she made. The psychologist is convinced that her story will be relevant to a large audience, as she shared the story of several members of her family, of completely different ages (she herself was 12 when it started, now she is 25, her brother was 12, but when everyone found out the truth, he was already an adult, her mom – 40, my granny – 63,  but it doesn’t appeal to age, it’s more suitable for people with children). The girl also confirmed her words of observation by psychologists from America, which suggests that in her speech she used techniques such as testimonials and ethos. She also used techniques such as fear (“But I still have so many issues. BUT IT’S NOT TRUE. Even if you think that you have overcome your problems, they will definitely come around in the future. For example, now my brother can’t start new relationships because he doesn’t believe in love and doesn’t trust people after our family’s situation. It’s all because he still has a childhood injury that he didn’t work on in time. My mom still doesn’t speak with her mom, because they struggled very often in my mom’s childhood.”), repetition  (“don’t forget about your problems, ask for help, work through your dismay”), slogan, weasel words (last paragraph), logos (statistics, facts: Psychologists from the University of California (USA) have found out: a conversation with a friend, putting feelings and emotions into words can alleviate our condition.  During the experiment, participants looked at photos of people with expressions of anger or fear on their faces.  At the same moment, the scanner recorded the natural activity of the brain area that “triggers” negative emotions.  When participants talked about their feelings, the activity of another part of the brain increased sharply, and the fear and anger disappeared.), pathos because the theme and the storyteller stories are so sad. It makes you cry, and reminds you about your dismay and bad experiences.  This helped to keep the audience’s attention on yourself for as long as possible in the performance. Listeners associate the tone with dark, “tragic” colours, Although this was a personal speech of the girl, but the structure of the story was dialogue (rhetoric questions: “interesting fact, isn’t it?”) This helped to keep the audience’s attention on yourself for as long as possible. Most of the people in the audience found the speech very strong, it made them think and change their minds.  We learned about this immediately after the girl’s speech, when people from the audience began to raise their hands to speak out.  I think this is due to the large number of techniques that the girl used in her work, also thanks to her gestures, the ability to present herself correctly and self-confidence.