The Halcyonite

Dwayne Johnson killed in a disturbing cult to end world hunger…

By Fiona

’26

CW: FAKE NEWS

On December 5th 2021, Dwayne Johnson, otherwise known as ‘The Rock’, was sacrificed in a disturbing satanic cult ritual by members of the Children of God. After the sacrifice, the Rock’s body was placed in a crypto chamber time capsule for cult scientists to send to aliens for worship. 

In an unexpected twist, Kevin Hart confessed to killing The Rock in the satanic ritual in an effort to end world hunger and simultaneously provide aliens with an excellent representation of the human species. “What better specimen than America’s greatest icon?” Mr Hart explained to a reporter. 

A member of the ‘Children of God’ cult where Dwayne Johnson was sacrificed stated “a ceremonial blade was used to send him to Satan.  This was certainly the best decision for us all. We appreciate the sacrifice made so the whole world would be provided with food and end hunger.” Many complaints have since been made about this member’s comments, and the police are currently investigating if any other members should be charged. 

I have here a quote from the head of the court jury “Mr. Hart has been found guilty of murder and to a lifetime in prison. We will be pressing charges towards all members that contributed to the satanic ritual. It is unacceptable to take lives even though there is a chance it could have a positive outcome. In this situation humans are still starving and more lives have been lost than saved. One of America’s greatest heroes has died needlessly.”  

The day started off as usual, with the weather report on the morning news. However the weather report was interrupted by Breaking News of The Rock’s sacrifice, and the day took a turn for the worse. A thirteen year old girl from South Carolina died from heartbreak over her idol’s tragic death. A stranger at the scene performed CPR on poor little Kiera, however her heart couldn’t take it anymore.  The man then attempted to save her by playing her favourite song by The Rock ‘IT’S ABOUT DRIVE, IT’S ABOUT POWER’ but sadly nothing could save her. 

‘POUNDER’, Dwayne Johnson’s latest film in the making about a detective investigating a sinister and mysterious organisation, will no longer be released, leaving thousands of fans devastated. Our hearts are left with a gap that cannot be filled. 

This unbelievable story has traumatised many fans, and left Dwayne Johnson’s friends and family stunned. All around me fans are asking: “What will we do without The Rock?”